We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Randomize