please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
