guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Randomize
