I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
My bed smells like the plague
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