He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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