I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Randomize