Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
