it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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