How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
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