she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize