Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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