we have officially lost it.
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
