Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
