He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
