The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
