your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
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