I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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