ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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