If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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