I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
