Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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