Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
