After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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