It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I have aggressive nipples.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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