my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Randomize
