It's like God shit irony all over that family
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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