I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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