I have demons in me.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
You've changed since you got that strap on
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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