But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
