Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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