Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
