Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
We got so high we made milksteak
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Randomize
