Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
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