I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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