Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
This is my gift to your gina
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
