i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
