maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize