I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
