I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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