i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
