I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize