I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
do nipples grow back?
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
