sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
