Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
