well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
