I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
