1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
