Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
