I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
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