I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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