I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
