Im at strip club and am horny
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
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