there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
