i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
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Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
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The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
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