You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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