I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
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