So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
