Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
