I've blown a few things in my day
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
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