theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Randomize
