She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Randomize
