I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize