Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
My ass is underappreciated
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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