What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize