the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
