the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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