i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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