Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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